Bored? Try saying this to your husband with a straight face,

"I want to thank you for choosing me above all other women."

I read somewhere that they like it so I gave it a shot. You have no idea how excruciating it was for me to get that sentence to come out of my mouth. But I did it, straight faced... and he didn't laugh. He loved it. He was smiley and giddy for days. Do it, I dare you. Make sure your legs are shaved.

Not That Awesome

Last Saturday we went shooting in the desert. Me and my little brother tried to make a super bad YouTube video of me shooting two guns. I thought I was going to look cool, like Angelina Jolie. I did not. My noodle arms look ridiculous and one of the magazines starts falling out. Nerd Alert. Shooting two guns is way harder than it looks.

Rude Dude

Remember when I scared Raegan with the Dollar Tree witch mask she gave me? What goes around comes around. Raegan went on another daddy-daughter date to the Dollar Tree. She bought Luke this.

It's a giant jelly-filled fly. Disgusting.
That night as I pulled back my comforter to get into bed, I looked down and saw that big nasty thing lying on my sheet (the fly, not Luke). I screamed, a frightened, little girl scream. Luke was laughing. He was obviously responsible.

I looked over at him and said, "You're Rude! You're a rude dude."


...I'm still laughing at that one. It was worth it just to be able to say that to him.

14 sec of funny

PMS Log:

This will probably be a new, recurring feature on this Blog. I suffer from an incurable condition called PMS. Mine is more severe than most. Once a month PMS takes over my brain. The easygoing Sheri is still there, but she gets slapped down whenever she tries to reason with the PMS Sheri. Here are some actual accounts of when PMS has taken over.

I saw the Bishop's wife at the Temple. She smiled at me and said, "It's so good to see you."
What's that supposed to mean? You think I don't come to the Temple often? Well I do.

While leaving the Temple Luke said,
"Do you want to go out to dinner?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because you're bugging me."
"How?"
"You know what you're doing."

Luke and I were sitting together on the couch, watching The Duchess...
"This movie makes me want to kick you in the balls."

Luke ran the stroller into my heels.
"OW!"
"I'm sorry."
"No you're not."
"I didn't do it on purpose."
"Yes you did!"
...I spent the next 10 minutes holding back tears because my husband deliberately rammed me with a stroller.

Each evening, after sunset, the PMS Sheri is exhausted and finally dies down. The easygoing Sheri is able to talk again. I apologize extensively to my sweet husband who has heroically born the brunt of this horrible condition, and together we laugh at PMS Sheri and how ridiculous she's been. And easygoing Sheri loves and appreciates her patient husband all the more.

Sheri's Secret Cold Remedy

We've all had nasty colds this week. I caught Kendal coping my secret technique for remedying my runny nose. (Secret: as in I try not to let Luke or the neighbors see me do this.)
you know you do it too

I'm just not attracted to you anymore

I cant believe I'm doing this on our 10th anniversary. I've tried to to make it work but, you and I both know things have been falling apart for a while now. We've been through a lot together. I just think that all these years have caused damage beyond repair. I'll always love you and cherish the time we spent together, but I've out grown you. I just need something new.

Please don't look at me like that.

Maybe we can get together for a camp-out sometime.