a little bit slow

Watch Ellie's amazing escape from the bathtub... and how long it takes me to process it.

(P.S. I often tell Luke his life would be boring without me. He agrees. This is why.)

"It was... It was... SOAP"

I've been keeping my resolution to blog less and organize more. This past month I've been cleaning my house like a crankster. (Crankster: slang for meth addict, for those who aren't familiar) As a reward I've come across some childhood gems, some of which I will be posting for posterity.

I found this letter that I had written my Mom when I was little. I'm so glad she saved it. She had sent my little brother and I to our room, and together we came up with this ingenious plan to make her sorry.

We each took our pillow and blanket and hid in our closet, watching through a crack for hours, waiting for the moment when she would find our letter, fall to her knees and burst into tears of regret. We planned to live in our closet and sneak out "every other day" to get the food they'd leave for us. It was brilliant.

Mom came in, read our letter, and opened the closet door. And not a moment too soon. We were already sick of each other and our new, dark and stuffy home. Disappointed our plan had failed but relieved to be out, I was baffled at how, after reading our well planned letter, she wasn't in hysterics searching the neighborhood for us.

As I read this letter it made me laugh and recall fond memories of my little brother and our childhood. When I showed it to Luke he thought it was funny at first, but then said,

"That's kinda sad."

"What, you never tried to run away from home?"

"No... never."

We had very different childhoods. But I wouldn't trade all the dysfunction of mine for any one of his summer-long family road trips, sweating in a hot, maroon Astro van.

Too Pooped To Toot...

...my own horn that is. This time I'm too sore to write details, too crippled to be proud. I ran the London's 1/2 marathon yesterday. When it was all over I sat on the grass, and as the sting of sweat and sunscreen enveloped my eyes, I cried . 13 miles in 2:06

Before

After

I probably shouldn't be posting this...

For those of you who didn't know, Luke and I met on and LDS dating website. Shut up and listen. During the first couple days of emailing eachother I created a survey to try and get to know him a little better. I came across it while digging through my Sent file. This is it, as well as our answers. I'm posting this to document the beginnings of our courtship. Clearly I have not matured over the past 5 years.

1. Would you rather kiss someone with white creamy saliva buildup in the corners of their mouth or someone with a thick film on their tongue?
(Luke)Coming from a dentist--the thick tongue film is much worse
(Me) A thick film on their tongue. I wouldn’t chance eating those white goop balls.
2. If you could spend a day with ANY 3 people alive or dead, who would they be?
Grandpa Wally--mom's dad (dead), Jesus Christ (is that a Mormon boy answer or what?), Sheri Dawn Harrison
Jesus, Abe Lincoln, James Dean.
3. Would you rather kiss someone whose breath smelled like rotten stomach or curdling milk?
Have you smelled a rotten stomach? I haven't so I can't give an educated answer.
Curdling milk. Something’s wrong if their guts are rotting.
4. If you could go out with any celebrity who would it be?
Ashley Judd--because I think I could get her to make out with me
Adrien Brody
5. List 3 of your favorite bands
Led Zeppelin, Ben Folds Five, The Getup Kids
The Strokes, Rooney, The Sounds

6. How much would someone have to pay you to down a shot of loogies?
$2250, but I'd try to bargain for more.....
$5,000 rock bottom.
7. At what temperature are you most comfortable?
74 degrees
72 degrees

8. Guys, what is most important to you in a girl...face, big boo boos, booty or legs?

Face

N/A

9. Girls, what is most important to you in a guy...face, muscles, ding-dong or height?

N/A

Ding-dong duh. Everything else is useless.
10. Guys, what would you rather see? A woman dressed as...a french maid, a secretary or a school girl.

(Edited For Luke's Privacy. However the correct answer is a secretary. Everything else is stupid.)

N/A

11. Girls, what would you rather see? A man dressed as...a business man, a firefighter or a gladiator.
N/A
Business Man. (There’s something about a nice, tailored suit that makes me want to tear it off with my teeth.)
12. If you could only listen to one CD for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Zeppelin III
The Strokes, Room on Fire
13. If you found a china man wearing a pirate patch, named Wing-Wong-Sing-Song, behind a dumpster at Japanese Kitchen and he had NEVER seen ANY movies and could see only 3 and then die...what would you recommend?
The Shawshank Redemption, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Sexual Chemistry III
Lord of the Rings, The Yarn Princess, Mr. Deeds
14. Are you conservative or liberal?
Conservative (politically)
Conservative, duh
15. If your spouse had an affair would you leave them or forgive them?

I'd like to say I'd forgive them--if I had kids, I'd try. If not, so long missy.
If he were truly sorry I would give him another chance and forgive him. But if it happened again I'm making ding-dong salad.

Bye Bye Baby Mullet

click picture for maximum cuteness

What's My Resolution?

To spend less time with my boyfriend, Computer. I've been cheating on my family with a keyboard and a screen. It's got to stop.

What have I been doing with all this new found time? I've organized either a closet or a drawer everyday, I've truly been giving my kids and husband my full attention (am finding that I do like them), I make dinner now, I'm reading the Ensign outside of the bathroom, I go to bed at a descent hour, and today I ate three donuts in one sitting. (Not hanging out with Computer means I'm spending more time with Kitchen.)

So that's where I've been. My posts will be even more infrequent and even less amusing. Oh yes, it's possible.

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